How to Deal
By AyalKorczak
We all have our favorite teacher. You know, the ones that just make class amazing, even if the subject is a bore. But what do you do when the opposite happens? What if the teacher seems to constantly pick on you? Or blatantly ignores you? What if, no matter what you do,a certain teacher just doesn’t like you?
Here’s how to handle this prickly situation:
The teacher has a bad attitude; and has from Day One
“If a teacher has a bad attitude, it makes the class boring and you never learn anything,” says Natalie K, a 7th grader.“Basically, you won’t want to learn anything if you don’t like them, and you will have a fixed mindset that nothing is interesting.” She likes the playing field to be ‘leveled’ between the teacher and the student. Adds Natalie: “Learning is easy when the teacher makes you feel welcome and you are not feeling controlled over. You are working with the teacher instead of for the teacher. It makes you want to do work.”
You obviously can’t control a teacher with a bad attitude, but you can just stay on their good side, or try to, (if he/she has one!) by following the class rules, doing your work, showing respect (yes, sometimes in life you have to respect people—or learn to just ‘deal’ with them, even if you don’t like them) and make an effort to participate in class. With a little luck, by the end of the year, you and that teacher will find your footing.
The teacher uses negativity or bad ‘humor’ to make you feel bad
Teachers who use humor to cover up negativity is another peeve Natalie shared with American Teen. “Sometimes, a class will bomb a test and a teacher will come in with a half-joke like “The bad news is you all failed your test, the good news is you can come in after school for a retake.” Failing a test in general makes a class feel crappy, adding bad humor only makes it worse. Why even say this to your students?
In this case, realize the teacher is trying to help you all out by letting you re-take the exam—second chances are always great. Try to brush off the teacher’s comment, be grateful you have another shot to pull up your grade, and STUDY!
The ‘invasion’ situation
Student Louis shared this irritating situation: “For example, if you ask a math question and the teacher will question with the whole class, saying something like, “Class, Louis here asked a good question about moving the decimal…” Louis says, “I hate thatbecause it makes me feel embarrassed and violated, as the question I was asking was meant to be a private conversation…”
In this unfortunate situation, just try not to be embarrassed—easier said than done, we know. Know that everyone struggles with something and it’s nothing to be ashamed about.
Additional solutions
Most of all, students are unhappy when they feel a teacher doesn’t like them. Students need to feel cared for, safe, and secure in order to learn joyously and effectively in a classroom. If a teacher’s meanness gives off the idea that he hates the class (or even just certain students) it poisons the educational environment and turns it from one of support and nurture to one of antagonism and faction.
Whether your teacher is trying out the persona of the fiendish meanie or friendly facilitator just remember that behind that facade is a giving person who has dedicated their life to no goal other than to teach you to succeed. How often do you dedicate your entire day to helping 30, 40, 50 or more people? Teachers do it everyday for years and the truth is that it is hard.
In addition to dealing with “problem” students, teachers also need to be sensitive to the fact that many class outbursts are related to problems a student has at home. Thus yelling “be quiet!” at some kid whosedad may have just lost his job or whose siblings are in trouble with the law doesn’t really help. Teachers need to figure out how to navigate all these complicated waters in order to deliver awesome lessons and sometimes they get lost on the way...lashing out at students for example.
Words of wisdom
Your best solution is a simple one. Arrange to meet with the teacher during office hours or sometime outside of class. 99% of teacher/student issues can be solved with a one on one conversation. Without a class of others watching and the politics of the clock and the lesson objective clouding judgement, conflicts between a teacher and student dissipate.
Using “I feel…” are key as well. For example you may meet with a teacher after class for a few minutes and say something like, “Mr. Jones, I feel that even when I try my hardest to behave I still get in trouble while others talk and talk without consequence.” By expressing how you feel, instead of placing blame with ‘you’ statements (like “You always yell at me…”), you create a positive direction for the conflict to go. The teacher doesn’t feel accused, and you were honest about how you feel which the teacher will respect.
Parents are your final go-to if all else fails. Ask your parents to set up a meeting with the teacher but if possible ensure that you do most of the talking. Avoid Mom yelling at the teacher with phrases like, “My kid says you hate him!” You will feel both more powerful and come across as more empowered if instead you advocate for yourself. Again, use “I feel” to share your opinions without acrimony.
Whatever strategy you employ, just remember in the end that everyone, your teachers, your parents, and you have the same goal: to ensure your future happiness and success. Make that happen!